I am a seeker, seeking. I am realising my disillusionment with this journey. The part of me that is still searching for the surface, happiness, ease. These are all great things but when you are driven solely to find happiness you reject all else. Reject depth. Reject the nuanced nature of life. It is a matter of constantly remembering that the purpose is multidimensional. That I am here for more.
Mexico City... a rough landing. The first feeling of true isolation and fear. Warnings and fears circling around in my head. And yet it became something so rich with meaning and feeling. It was not by accident or poor judgment that I ended up here. I felt surprisingly safe. Mexico has stirred something within me, of all places in the world it's the place I decided to come. It has felt right all along.
Teotihuacan feels like a memory. I tried to make sense of it aloud to the new friend I had visited with but it didn't make sense, even to me. But there's so much more to that place than archeological conclusions or Aztec history. I want to know more and to feel it more fully. It was an image like the one above that had called me to come to Mexico in the first place. Walking around felt surreal. I was so enormous in scale and energy. The whole place is carved from volcanic stone that contains large deposits of obsidian, as apparently all the archeological sites in Mexico from this time period do. We sat on top of the pyramid of the sun and imagined the city in it's peak, vibrant with colour, huge and bustling with thousands of people walking up and down the avenue. It felt like I had reached a point of importance. Maybe energetically or just within myself, I'm not sure. I couldn't place it. But it felt like something clicked into place in my life there.
The pilgrimage goes in layers, ofcourse. Someday I would love to return and learn more. This, I hope, is only the beginning of my journey with Mexico.